Election Bingo

This year, the political pundits have one thing right about Election 2000: There are no real choices in this campaign. The closer you look, the more you realize that there are no discernable differences between the participants. Indeed, when it comes to choosing a president, all the networks offer up the same coverage.

CNN, CBS, NBC and ABC all have giant colored maps, expert pundits, tracking polls and roving reporters… and they’re all alike. Each network will debut a massive new set for this big night of polls and pols. You’ll see a giant red and blue map in the center of the stage and a board that will tally the popular vote. Sure, Dan Rather may perch on a stool and wander the area, while the CNN gang will be permanently fixed behind their semicircular desk, but that’s about all the divergence you’re going to see.

So we’ve devised a method to keep the proceedings interesting: Election Bingo. Print out the four Election Bingo cards below, and pass them out to the people watching with you. When you see one of the incidents or hear one of the cliches described in a square… mark the square. The center square is free. First person to make a complete row wins. Serious political junkies can opt to play “Blackout” and viewers with Attention Deficit Disorder can simply play “Four Corners.” No matter what version of Bingo you play, you’ll be able to watch the election coverage without the boredom that characterizes most presidential votes and without the guilt that would come from switching to watch Any Given Sunday on pay-per-view. Make sure you include a lofty buy-in fee… Bingo without cash prizes is un-American.